JOURNEY TO A DREAM

BY: DEBI DOWLING

CHAPTER FIVE – “THE BODY OF CHRIST”

“We do not live in a perfect world. We cannot hide ourselves in any religion; nothing will be hid.”

Anyone who claims to be the body of Christ must take a deeper look at what he believes. I believe that anyone who gives his life according to the scriptures, according to the will of God, is a part of the Body of Christ." As He is– so are we. That is the beauty of the miracle of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. I have never believed that if one does not attend the Gospel Assembly church, he is not a part of the “body," nor do I believe that you are not a part of the “body" if you do attend the church. We are saved by grace.

This has been on my mind all day: I think the question to ask is W.W.J.D.? I think of Judas, how Jesus handled Him. Judas might represent the "humanity of man.” Jesus represents "The Body of Christ.” Jesus never excluded Judas (our human behavior is not excluded). Jesus ("The Body of Christ) was brought to the cross by the betrayal of Judas (our human nature, our sinful ways). Human nature will betray the body of Christ, which brings us all to the cross, and we die– all of us– a sinner’s death. We can die like Judas, who became his own judge and jury (I believe the pastors who took on the name of God for themselves are surely guilty of this), and commit spiritual suicide, or we can become members of the body of Christ and recognize that we are no longer under the law of sin and death, but under the law of grace. Though the body must die a sinner’s death on the cross– it will rise again.

Pray that the vision be made clear to the leaders of the church in which you serve; let each of us pray that the Lord bring us together. That will happen as the healing begins – that inward healing – of the saints. I pray the ministers will have the courage to take in the weak. So what if they lose favor with their fellow brothers? At least they suffered for the body of Christ. Let us be a vessel of deliverance, rather than protectors of a name that means nothing compared to the name that we are taking on, the name of Jesus. When I got married I took on my husband's name. If we plan to be the bride to be married to the groom (once we give up our name: Baptist, Catholic, Pentecostal, Gospel Assembly), all churches will have to do this to be "In the name of Jesus." He was a man of no reputation. Or we could, any of us, be accused of becoming a Judas. I pray that we trust in the spirit of truth that none of are deceived, and find that it is Judas we are following, rather than the body of Christ. That will always be a question in my mind.

I think a lot of churches are guilty of the crimes that have been brought out here, due to a narrow focus on how their particular church was brought together. The Baptists: if you cannot conform to their way of thinking, you are never truly accepted. It is not the Baptist name that will save us; but within that religion are people who serve the Lord according to the scriptures. We are saved by grace! The Catholic Church: my grandmother was Catholic, and she has horrible stories to tell. I think following the “body" of Christ is the wisest advise for anyone searching for true religion. It begins with the written word; learn about the body of Christ, seek it as pure gold, never stray from it. Jesus did not come here to condemn the world. Does the church in which you serve condemn the world? Then there is the scripture, “The kingdom of God is within you.” I am just thankful to be able to talk about these things openly. Thank you for listening.

We do not live in a perfect world. We cannot hide ourselves in any religion; nothing will be hid. He who seeks to save his life will lose it. Just because you wear your clothes in a manner to present your carnal interpretation of holiness does not mean you are holy. Just because you have acquired the ability to speak with eloquence doesn’t make you SOMEBODY (or NOBODY). At least now I know the difference. I can say I am more than a survivor. I LIVE! And I do pray for my enemies; I pray for their deliverance; and I will do whatever I can to help bring the church to restoration. The people need it. The church that chooses to take on the weakness will be raised to strength, coming to the full knowledge of the gospel. It will become a part of them.

How can we experience discernment in the spirit when we are not free? When I think of “The Body of Christ,” I picture Him among the world. He did not close Himself up among people like Himself. He went out among the sinners. I have heard it said: we are not going to bring the world in “here.” “Are we afraid of getting "dirty"? I thought these thoughts also as a child. While I was enduring my upbringing to become a perfect overcomer, it was really difficult for me to see myself as any different from anyone else. I had experienced it all before I reached puberty. I lived with these people. The church was my life.

The body must work together equally– can you tell me of any church today that is doing this? I know that is the desire of the over-all church in Gospel Assembly. Go ahead, bring out the sins, for that is the will of God, but don't be surprise if you are not opened up as well, as it happened to me.

The name of Jesus is the only name that will bring healing, peace and deliverance. We have to deal with the NOW. The more I deal with all this stuff; I am realizing that God truly has a plan for us. We need each other. He wants a people that can "learn quick and speak slowly.” What if we are being asked to give up anything that looks like Jesus? What if we are being asked to give up all images of our salvation? Images such as: what parents taught us, our knowledge of the scriptures (even Satan can quote scripture). Maybe God wants us to give Him everything we have. Maybe he wants our good and our bad. Maybe He wants to establish Himself in us in such a way that we will never depart from HIS TRUTH. What we know of the men who founded Gospel Assembly is nothing. We can never have more than half the truth. God knows all. Only God has the whole truth and nothing but the truth. We cannot even judge ourselves.

I don't quite know what to think. I do think that God will call a people unto himself. I do not believe we can decide if we are called. I believe we need to serve the Lord with all our hearts. And so one is a bride member and one is not. It is like saying the hand is better than the eyelash. The feeling that comes from statements that I have heard recently; statements like, "If you are not in this order or under this hand..." I hear it, I know the scriptures that back it up, but something is not right. It is in the spirit. There is something wrong in the spirit of the message. There is no anointing on these words. WHY? This is a real concern.

I have read over the comments regarding the earmarks of the Body of Christ as well as the list of a cult. We are all looking closely at Gospel Assembly on both accounts. I am going through my own experiences in my head. When we first came to the "Body,” this is truly the way Gospel Assembly is represented; and this is just being honest. We were taught not to go to doctors. Ah! Ha! This is an excellent place to start. My brother went through a plate glass door at the church downtown. He had deep cuts between his legs. We pulled glass out of his body for days. My mom was told to trust the Lord. I was a child and I thought it so awesome to trust the Lord in this way as I watched the pain and suffering my brother went through. I got a staph infection in my neck and shoulder area from a fall that had put deep scratches in my shoulders. I ran high fever. We trusted the Lord. People came from the church to anoint me with oil. I love them for that. Although the experience was painful I loved these people so much. It was my brother's prayer that made me determined to claim my healing. I will say God was truly with us. Later my brother cut his foot really bad. We took him to the doctor. My mom suffered so much over the fact that she did not trust God for that incident. Of course we have already established that she was extreme. Her heart was set on doing everything that was taught. Either you believe or you don't.

I remember the thing about the color red. I wondered why would God make elbows if he didn't like elbows or knees? I was at the age of 8 years old to 10 years old. At the age of 11 my life became internal. The outside influences were just something I had to put up with. I thought of the whole thing as just a sad, sad, mistake. Now I am 43 years old and God is calling me back. He is showing me my past in a way I never considered it. We have been under bondage, our ministers as well as ourselves. God has chosen NOW for our deliverance. I am so amazed at the reality of God. For all who have learned to trust in the one and only true and loving God, give your testimony. Shout it to the hilltops. Rejoice in the freedom that is from God. No regrets, as long as I know I did it all for my love to Him. Know that He will never leave you or forsake you. AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU MADE IT? In the eyes of man I am nothing to be desired. My father is a king and I am his prince/princess.

I just got this flashback of a meeting where the ministers were discussing dress codes. I was a teenager by this time. This man was on the platform talking about how he thought that women should wear some makeup. Then he turned around and started talking about women wearing pants and pulled his pants tight across his backside toward the congregation. I can remember sitting there, thinking this man has got a very serious problem. This is also one of the earmarks of the "Body of Christ," the thrashing floor. That is one thing I can say in Gospel Assembly: there were several options as to how one could choose to live their life. No wonder Brother Patton was constantly teaching us NOT to follow a man. I do remember Brother Patton saying over and over not to become a Pattonite or Brownite. A lot of the people in the church would show up when their favorite teacher was teaching. I can also say I do see a lot of change in GA since I was a kid. I never thought I would see change, but I promise you it is there. I also never thought I would know myself the way I do today, but I promise it is there. I figure there is hope as long as you can see change.

I remember something Brother Patton said and did while working at the store at the church. We were going through the foods, dividing the good food from the bad. He was talking to the young people around him. He was saying that we would be able to trust the Lord in a way that we will receive no harm from this world. Then he ate from a jar of peanut butter that had broken glass in it. That incident stayed in my mind. That is how I feel about all the codes and laws. I don't know if I am right, but the spirit in what I feel is right, so I am inclined to believe there is truly a message in this for us all.

The church has changed since then but when I was a child sandals were not permissible. There were other rules like; you could not do any kind of worldly activity, such as Astroworld. I hear of young people going to such places now. It was not like this when I was a kid. We lived, breathed, and ate Gospel Assembly teachings and were taught that this was the only church. I truly believed that because I could not grasp the things that I was taught that I was of the devil. I was constantly put in a chair to have demons cast out. I prayed sincerely that I would be delivered so I could live at peace with my family. I never felt I would measure up and to really make matters worse I had the situation that was invisible with my Dad who was loved and adored by all.

The Lord has given me a small part, but I will give it my all. My part is to stand here and send praises as our brothers and sisters reach down into the root of the problem; and all will stand amazed at His ability to be our LORD AND SAVIOR. He is the lover of my soul. I have no need to fear the night, the terrors it may bring, for while I’m walking with the Lord, I’m walking with the KING.

We serve God by serving one another, and I believe that is the truth that Gospel Assembly wants more than anything, as that desire grows, and they are aware that it is truly the Lord who is bringing our sins forward that we may obtain His mercy and forgiveness. I could not give it all up until I knew it was truly Him. His love brought me home, nothing else. It was all Him. So I have suffered in Christ. He called me. The one thing I could not completely let go of was the experiences that I could not explain, but I did experience them. They were as real as any of the suffering in my life.

BECAUSE OF HIM my soul has known such glory, BECAUSE OF HIM I have a chance to live. I am thinking about the relationship I have now with my father. I am alone a lot. Since I have a tendency to continuously strive for understanding, and I will use any medium to seek understanding, especially when I was so uncertain about the things of God, I would read my Bible. I saw the Bible as a book more readily available to show our society from the beginning, a book of history filled with romance, mystery. I read it to solve the mystery of life. Sound familiar to anyone?

I remember just a few years back I had become so engrossed that I read it cover to cover. I was on my third time around when I began to see humanity and myself. I saw it all as one. That is the best way for me to describe it. The English language is so limited when it comes to expressing insight, whether it be of the things of God, emotion, sometimes even the events of science. I believe there is a lot of stuff discovered in science that we have not even heard about because they have not yet found a way to tell it where people would not go into a panic (just a thought for the thinkers out there).

If you are sitting there thinking that I think too much, that's ok. I've been told that a lot anyway. What I saw is how the light of the New Testament reflected the darkness of the Old Testament. There was a lot more to this revelation. I called my dad, so excited about the way I was receiving this. The spirit of it was so healing. My dad told me of the teachings in the church that this is true; and I thought I had received something unique, a first-time experience. I am still feeling the blessing of that great discovery I am glad to be able to share this with you all.

I have truly come along way and I can see that the church has too. I still feel a little strange. I think that is because of my background. I am not sure as to what is due to my life at home -vs- the true teachings of the church. I know that my life has to show some flexibility because I am to become a witness to many people; each with their own vision. I think of Paul as he said: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. If I get so caught up in the laws of the church I feel that I gain a status, which is not my goal. I am not looking for status. The best I can do is to be myself. I don't believe that our walk with God is based on how we dress. What if I was called to minister to prostitutes or even more simply put, to women of abuse. The over emphasis of dress code would make the words dead in such an atmosphere. Then again I am not aware of our church doing such a ministry yet. I automatically go into a flexible state when I am in a crowd. Does that make me "lukewarm" or sensitive to people?

Written by: Debi Lynn Dacus, Henley, West, Dowling

I want to live my life as though its not my own;

I want to give my sacrifice to the right hand on the throne;

for if not for Him you know that man would be ALONE;

'm livin, by the spirit of God and its takin me home

I claim the victory for all. I pray for the ministers as they come forward to dance this victory with me. A table has been prepared. A celebration is waiting. God's people are delivered. Please come to the feast of forgiveness. You have preached His name in the Synagogues, now bring His name to its fullness that all may be saved. The church has suffered as I have suffered; they shall rejoice as my soul sings praise unto our Lord. I am so glad to be a part of this. I really thought it would not happen in my lifetime, which proves how little I know. Thank you, Lord, for loving me. I can't explain, yet, there is no mystery, for as He lives, I live. Now my heart can sing glory and honor and praises to our King.

CHAPTER SIX– THE SOLUTION

PERSONAL STORIES